When this story began, I didn’t exactly know what I was supposed to do.
To be honest; I still have no clue. But I am less scared. Or better said, more aware of the overwhelming power of my feelings and actions.
Some would vastly enjoy this “gift”. I am sure there are a few out there who feel jealous of my “luck”.
Let me tell you something; here you are, take it away from me. I don’t want it.
Dispirited. When will this constant struggle fade away? What do you want from me?
Half alive throughout the day, while the other humans go about their daily routines. Hollow intellect, no desire, lifeless determination. Helplessness.
Half alive, but extraordinarily awakened at night. Exhausted. I cannot even remember when was the last time I was able to sleep more than 4 hours straight without the help of narcotics. Adding anesthesia to the existing overload of numbness.
Every night, at the same time, I fall into an obscure and bizarre void.
Which is not exactly a void; I so wish it were damn empty. But it is full of beasts.
They are everywhere, they take different shapes. Loneliness, despair, anxiety, heartbreak, uncertainty, anger.
Why me? Why is it me the one chosen to fight them? I did not agree to this, what do you want from me?
Let’s make it clear; I might be able to handle some of these creatures, the ones I create, the ones that belong to me.
But why do you have me battling an army of other people’s monsters?
I can’t make sense of any of this.
I don’t want to make sense of any of this.