I may have dreamt it.
I read somewhere that the brain cannot actually distinguish between real and fake memories, that in fact, it treats them all as it is commanded to respond.
So, if you really believe something happened when in reality it didn’t, the brain will fully convince all of your consciousness that it did really happen. That all those details are not fabricated, but just a remembrance of the events that took place at some point in the past.
Now, if it works in such a direction, it should also work vice-versa.
Meaning that you can also convince yourself that actions that were real, are not. They happened, but you will just live as if they didn’t.
Very convenient.
For all the parties involved, not having to remember is always better than having to face all those flashbacks which are no longer pleasant.
When you look back at the things you didn’t (or couldn’t or wouldn’t) do, and when you look forward towards all those things you could (or would) do but are unable to anymore; a sense of guilt and sadness will inevitably fill you up.
So it’s good that these two timestamps are impermanent; no past and no future. Nothing to look back on and nothing to look forward to.
Even then… what I did, all those I did were not those you needed.
I couldn’t do more.
I don’t even know how I could have changed those.
It’s good that science is on my side for once.
That this pain will not last too long.
That every time I close my eyes and remember, I can just shout: it’s fake! and keep moving.
Keep moving and making more fake memories from real ones.
Keep deleting them.
It’s better that this never happened.
Yeah, it’s better.